What are codependency therapy sessions like?

Sessions focus on understanding your relationship patterns and helping you reclaim your sense of self. We explore where you learned to prioritize everyone else's needs over your own — often tracing back to childhood dynamics where you had to be the caretaker or peacekeeper. Then we use Brainspotting and EMDR to process the underlying beliefs and fears that make boundaries feel impossible, like 'I am only lovable if I am helpful' or 'saying no means I am selfish.' We also support you in learning to set healthy boundaries.

How long do I need to be in therapy for codependency?

EMDR and Brainspotting can work fast, sometimes giving significant relief in just a few sessions. Many clients benefit from longer-term work to go deeper and heal more fully. The length of therapy depends on your goals, how ingrained these patterns are, and how much trauma you have been through — therapy could take 15 to 25 sessions or more. The ultimate goal is to help you feel more empowered to be more yourself.

How do I know if therapy for codependency will work for me?

If you find yourself constantly putting others first, struggling to say no, feeling responsible for other people's emotions, losing yourself in relationships, or staying in situations that hurt you because you are afraid of being alone or causing conflict — you likely have codependent patterns. Therapy for codependency is especially effective for empathic, caring people who were often parentified as children, grew up in chaotic or emotionally neglectful homes, or learned early that their value came from what they could do for others.

How do I get started with codependency therapy?

Schedule a free 20-minute consultation call. We will talk about your relationship patterns, the ways you lose touch with yourself and put others first, and what having healthy boundaries would look like for you. I will explain how Brainspotting and EMDR can help you release the guilt and fear that keep you stuck, and we will determine if we are a good fit.

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Therapy for Codependency

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Do You Give So Much That There's Nothing Left for You?

Are you exhausted from taking care of everyone else?

Maybe you can't say no without guilt, even when you're already stretched too thin, or perhaps you're constantly monitoring other people's moods and emotions, trying to keep everyone happy. You may be feeling resentful but unable to speak up about your own needs, or simply realizing you don't even know who you are outside of what others need from you.

Whatever it is that you're experiencing, you're beginning to notice the impact of this in every area of your life:

Saying yes to requests you don't want to fulfill, then feeling upset with yourself and the other person
Feeling responsible for other people's feelings, problems, and happiness—like it's your job to fix everything
Getting stuck trying to get someone to see something they don’t want to or aren’t able to see.
Losing touch with your own desires, needs, and identity because you're so focused on others
Staying in relationships that drain you or accepting treatment you know isn't okay because you're afraid of conflict or abandonment

Why EMDR and Brainspotting Are Game-Changers for Codependency

You've probably tried to change these patterns before. You've read the books, you know you need boundaries, you've even rehearsed what you'd say—and then the moment comes and you freeze. The guilt overwhelms you. The fear of conflict takes over. You give in again, and nothing changes.

This isn't about willpower or trying harder.

What Makes Brainspotting and EMDR Different:

EMDR and Brainspotting don't just help you understand your patterns—they help you release them.

Talk therapy can help you understand why you people please or struggle with boundaries and give you strategies, but when your nervous system keeps getting hijacked and tells you it is dangerous to put yourself first, (that you might get hurt or abandoned) it’s hard to actually put those strategies and boundaries to good use.

EMDR and Brainspotting can help your nervous system feel different. It’s not about just forcing yourself to act differently while your nervous system is protesting…it’s about healing old wounds at the root so your body now feels safe to be yourself and capable of setting boundaries.

It can feel easier to set boundaries and care for yourself. Let’s chat about how we can get you some relief!

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Here’s what becomes possible

The guilt that floods you when setting boundaries begins to dissolve. Instead of that feeling of "I'm selfish" every time you consider your own needs, you feel calm and clear when saying no.

The fear of abandonment loses its grip. That panic you feel when someone seems disappointed in you starts to fade. You'll process the core wounds that convinced you that you're only lovable when you're useful, and your nervous system finally learns you're safe to disappoint people sometimes.

You stop automatically scanning everyone else's emotions. That exhausting hypervigilance—constantly monitoring if people are upset, trying to manage everyone's feelings shifts. Your brain rewires itself to know you're not responsible for other people's emotional states.

Saying "no" starts to feel possible, even natural. The old programming that made boundaries feel dangerous gets reprocessed. You'll be able to set limits without the overwhelming anxiety, without the fear of losing connection every time you stand up for yourself.

You reconnect with who you actually are. As we process the trauma and beliefs that taught you to abandon yourself, you can rediscover your own preferences, desires, and voice beyond just the version of you that tries to keep everyone happy.